


134340

by yoongisgaybeads



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Loona - Freeform, Mentions of Death, Song: 134340 (BTS), Suicide, Yves - Freeform, chuu, hello it's my first loona fic, memory erasing, pls read at your own risk, some gore (sorry), yves is whipped for stranger chuu but who isnt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:35:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28703754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoongisgaybeads/pseuds/yoongisgaybeads
Summary: It’s the year 2390 and people’s memories can be removed by choice.Yves is working late at a convenience store one day when she comes across a nameless girl who kept sneezing and decided to name her “Chuu”.Little does she know that Chuu had much more to her than the cute sounds she make when she sneezes
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Kim Jiwoo | Chuu
Comments: 11
Kudos: 60





	134340

**Author's Note:**

> hello, yes this is inspired by bts' song 134340 so if you know what the song is about then you'll have some idea of how this story will go :), this story is also unedited so I apologize in advance for any grammatical error that you'll encounter along the way
> 
> lastly, any kind of feedback will be appreciated and thank u in advance for reading!
> 
> twt : @gaybeadsfic

**_“If only I could, I wanted to ask_ **

**_Why you did so back then, why you threw me out_ **

**_Without a name to myself, I still orbit you_ **

**_Our goodbye became meaningless; that unchanging color”_ **

"Ah-choo!" Yves hears someone sneeze from a few shelves away. She searched the store from her seat near the windows but couldn't see where the sound came from. She shrugged it off and went back to eating her dinner/breakfast in a cup otherwise known as a cheap convenience store cup of noodles.

"Get out you dirty no-name! you're bringing bad luck to my store, aish!" The old man who owns the mart chases someone outside from the back of the store and a feeble girl wearing what appeared to be a huge pink hoodie and shorts becomes visible to her sight. Yves observes her from afar.

She notices how the girl didn't look like she has been a stray for more than a week. Primarily because she still looked clean and was wearing expensive looking clothes. But who knows, some strays just don’t get dirty. It’s not as if they were like regular beggars from ages ago. Strays most likely don’t do anything in the streets, they don’t scavenge for food or things, they literally just roam around aimlessly, letting their bodies suffer from hunger and other possible effects of the outdoor exposure. 

Yves ignores the store owner's shouts of insult towards the girl and she hears her whimper at every word being thrown at her. 

It was around one in the morning and she just got off her shift in the store hence she wasn't really in the mood to interact with people. Obviously, she felt bad for the girl but it's not like she could do anything about it. She was someone who's barely making a living for herself and is a no name to society (although not in the literal sense like a stray). Her interjecting in situations like this won’t do anyone good, the stray will just continue to be one and she’ll be ruining her image (whatever that may mean) for defending someone like the girl.

Strays often come to their place since they're located near the institute where their memories get taken away. 

Since about 300 years ago their government has developed a system to lower the rate of suicides in the country. In the year 2016 alone, South Korea ranked 10th in the list of countries with the highest suicide rates in the world, also placing 2nd in Asia. Although they weren’t the highest on the list, It was them who first thought of a solution to this problem that greatly benefits the whole world today. Their plan was to erase people's memories, specifically people who have experienced something very extreme that they are considering taking their own life. 

The Koreans didn’t take it very seriously at first, claiming that it was absurd but after the study got the attention of other countries and the whole world had them under a microscope. People started putting their faith in the government and soon after that the institute was created and they were looking for the first person to try the procedure on.

The process of memory removal was free but as expected, the citizens were scared of trying it at first. 

Then came the first person named Jung Hoseok who seeked help after his husband, Min Yoongi passed away. The people’s interest was greatly peaked and they anticipated what would happen to him. The whole process of his memory removal was publicized with his family’s and his own consent. Because of that, the government sighed in relief that their project was saved and his case helped greatly to encourage other people suffering to also try it out.

It was said that the people who are also involved in the painful experience that lead them to removing their memories are also made to forget them but since Hoseok's husband was gone, it was only him who lost his memory and when he came back home to his family with the help of government officials, he wasn’t able recognize him at all. 

They called him his name which is Hoseok and it reactivated his past memories. After a week from his procedure, he was back to being depressed and suicidal, his longing for his late husband even grew deeper. 

Hoseok’s sister took him back to the institute and they end up discovering that by using their old names, their old memories are then also reactivated and so they were advised to give him a new one. His family was starting to get weary of their decision but they saw that their youngest child was still suffering and accepted the offer once again.

He ended up being called Hobi after his parents tried playing with his old name so that it wouldn’t sound too foreign to them. They tried calling him hoshi or wooseok but none made any difference except for when they called him Hobi one time when they were close to giving up. He suddenly became responsive and since then has lived a happier life as Jung Hobi. 

To ensure that his old memories will not be reactivated accidentally, the government issued a law right away stating that no two or more people should have the same name. Once a name is used, It is put in the system as banned, prohibiting other people to use the name until the current person who owns it passes away. 

The news caused an uproar from the citizens but after seeing the great results of the procedure on Hoseok, now called Hobi. They all complied without any objection and the people who have the same name eventually changed theirs, ultimately making South Korea the first country to have all of its citizens have different names. It is a law that is also later adapted by other countries after the success of the memory removal procedure.

The system was so successful that by the year 2390, every nation in the world has the same memory erasure system and the global suicide rate dramatically dropped to almost none. 

But just like every other system, it had its flaws and the result of that was the strays just like the one that the store owner was fighting with. The reason for this is because not everyone who undergoes the memory removal procedure has family or friends to assure that they are given a new name along with a new purpose in life.

The government first tried solving this issue by hiring people specifically for the sake of naming these strays but it ended up just failing. No one was responsive even after they were given names by these workers. 

The only way that has been discovered so far for these people to have a somewhat normal life is for them to be named by people who are already related to them in the first place. They don’t necessarily have to be blood related, anything that holds a significant bond between that person and the one who underwent the procedure whether it be a lover or a best friend can do the trick. 

It's still not a perfect science and it has been centuries yet to no success, it remains as one of the biggest problems that the world is facing today aside from climate change. 

Yves finished eating her food and she went to the fridge to get her usual strawberry milk. 

"Hey! That's your third bottle today!" The owner calls after her from the cashier and she smiles sheepishly at him.

"Just cut it off from my monthly pay like usual, 

I'll see you tomorrow night again, Mr. Kim. Have a nice day!" She waves goodbye to the old man and steps out to the cold empty streets.

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before puncturing her bottle of strawberry milk with a straw. The surroundings were very silent until she heard a whimper coming from somewhere nearby and she jumped when she saw the girl from earlier standing right next to her. Her lips in the form of a pout and she was looking straight at the drink in Yves’ hand. 

Yves didn't have a problem with strays like the old man but she also didn't want to attach herself to one because she might end up just being disappointed if she doesn't get to name them. In addition, there was still this stigma towards interacting with strays in the society.

She gives the girl a pitiful smile. Aside from her clothes, her red hair also looked like it was being taken care of before she had her memories removed. She had perfect bangs and long hair that looked really soft, Yves sympathizes with the girl. What faith could this innocent looking woman have to be left as a stray when she looks better than anyone she has ever met in her life and these people have fully functional memories.

"I'm sorry but I can't help you" She tries to walk away but the girl suddenly grabs her hand and Yves looks at her in surprise. The girl smiles wide for no reason and that it startled her even more.

Strays don't usually show that much emotion, in fact they don't show any emotion at all as if their _name_ carried every purpose they had in their life until it was taken away from them.

"You aren't a stray, are you?" She asks suspiciously but the girl just stares at her, still smiling like she didn’t understand and Yves looks down at their intertwined hands. She removes them quickly and grabs the girl's arm harshly, spinning her around until she gets a hold of her hair and Yves pulls it up. 

Blank

There wasn't any name written on the back of her neck and every person who isn't a stray has one. Everyone from the moment that they are named by their parents have these white letters on the back of their necks that say just that. There is still no explanation to this phenomena but everyone believes its importance because once your memory is gone along with your name, the tattoo also fades away like it wasn’t there in the first place. 

"So you are a stray” Yves says more to herself before putting her hair down carefully, “Sorry” the girl turns back around to face her and it turns out that she’s still smiling.

“A stray who can smile? Well that's new" She returns the gesture in amazement and the girl remains looking at her, her eyes move to the milk in her hand for a second then goes back to Yves. She follows her eyes and realizes what the stray wanted. These people aren’t usually this functional and it bewilders her how she can actually feel hunger.

She went back to feeling bad for the stray but since the girl managed to amaze her tonight, she hands her the drink 

"There, you can have it. I really do hope that someone finds you and gives you a name, I truly do" She couldn't help herself and she pinches her cheeks. 

She makes this sound when she pinches them and it makes Yves' heart skip a beat. Her giggles were so small yet so full of life that it didn't really feel like this was actually occurring. "You're a really weird one, you know" She chuckles and proceeds to pet the top of her head in a caring manner while she drinks her strawberry milk with so much gusto.

The girl holds the bottle with both of her hands although it was small enough for one and because of her huge hoodie, it made her hands look really small in comparison.

She's really cute, Yves thought but shakes it off just as quickly, waking herself back to reality. 

Her reality is that it’s very late and she was tired from work. So as much as this stray is very interesting to look at, she has to go home and rest for another day of labor tomorrow, that’s just how it is and that’s how it’s always been.

"I'm sorry but I really have to go home now" she bids her goodbye to the girl, turning around to walk away but then she feels a tug from behind. She turned around and the stray was holding her shirt back with one of her hands while the other still had the milk bottle as she sipped her drink. The spark in her eyes never left them while she looked at Yves.

"I have to go home" She now says seriously but the girl suddenly removes the straw in between her lips and pouts at her. Her eyes still sparkle as she does this and Yves was at a loss for words. She sighs and removes her hand from her shirt, intertwining it with hers.

"I am so gonna regret this" She whispers to herself before pulling the girl along with her and walking towards the bus stop. The girl didn’t make a sound the whole way and just obediently followed Yves.

"You don't speak to anyone okay? I can't have people knowing that I'm taking home a stray that I didn't name" She looks around nervously to make sure that no one hears her and the girl nods at her words as if she understands them. That made Yves worry even more, so many things about this particular stray just doesn’t match with what it says in the textbooks. 

Strays aren't supposed to be responsive. People who lose their memories basically just become a wandering replication of who they were before without the name and intellect. They don't know how to speak nor interact with people and this whole thing with this girl is weirding her out. 

"You're a stray after all so obviously you can't talk" she tries to laugh nervously but she wasn’t sure of who exactly she was doing this for "You can't talk, right?" She panics for a second and the girl squeezes her hand, smiling while shaking her head no.

"You're one cute thing aren't you" Yves tries to relax a little and smiles back at her

"Ah-choo!" The girl sneezes like earlier and she feels a warm sensation spread in her stomach.

Everything about this girl was so _cute_

**_“There’s no name allowed for me_ **

**_I, too, used to be your star_ **

**_You must feel nice to be the light_ **

**_All I do is to receive you_ **

**_What would be the meaning of the remaining life for the collapsed planet”_ **

They arrived at the apartment where she's renting a room and took notice that her roommate still hasn't come home. She wasn't actually allowed to bring any guests to the place according to the contract but Yves never even thought that she’d have someone to bring over when she agreed to that term.

She was already regretting her decision that might get her kicked out, but the girl was still holding her hand like a child that's afraid her parents will leave her alone in the mall and Yves pushes her doubt aside. 

They enter the apartment quietly just to make sure that no one is really there and tiptoes their way to her room.

Once they close the door behind them, Yves breathes a sigh of relief. 

What is she even doing? She asks herself as she lets go of the girl's hand gently, making sure that she wasn’t as harsh like earlier. 

The girl she brought with her was looking around her room with curious eyes, everything that she sees amazes her. She smiles at literally everything her eyes land upon and they widen at simple things like the touch activated lamp shade beside Yves' mattress. These are essentially the only items that she has in her room aside from her basic living necessities and she’s happy with just that. She liked her simple life although it does get tough sometimes especially with rent, but she can proudly tell you anytime that she’s content.

Yves was about to call her but she remembers that she doesn't know how and pulls the girl’s arm instead, leading her towards the bathroom.

"You need to take a bath" She says when they reach her small tub and the girl looks questioningly at her with those big round eyes causing Yves to look away as her heart starts to beat at high speed.

Why are you beating so fast? Stop, damn it, she curses at her heart.

"Do you understand what I'm saying?" She asks again once she regains her composure 

"Bath, Cleaning yourself, Water, Soap. Are you getting me?" She tried acting out every word and looked at her again, the girl nods in understanding. She smiled at Yves, her perfect set of straight white teeth showing and her eyes form these crescent moons that look so irresistibly adorable. 

Yves feels her cheeks start to burn up.

"Okay uhm,

If you really understood me then go and take your clothes off" The girl nods and immediately tries to pull the hem of her hoodie to remove it. Yves realizes what she said too late and her eyes widen, taking hold of her hands quickly to stop her.

"Let me turn around first and prepare you a bath... then you could take your clothes off" She says while emphasizing the word “Then” and the girl nods again. She’s smiling even wider than the first time and Yves wonders if it was normal for a stray to be this functional. Her mind tells her no but at the same time, some part of her also wonders if strays aren’t so lost after all. She looks at the girl beside her with the widest grin that she has ever seen on anyone and thinks that not even normal people who have all of their memories smile this much.

“Ah-Choo!” She sneezes again and it made Yves laugh.

She prepares the bath tub for the girl while she waits sitting on top of her toilet cover. The smaller girl laughs when bubbles suddenly float from the tub and tries to pop them one by one. 

Yves couldn't help it but smile at her too, she wasn't like the typical stray in a lot of aspects but she is still one since she doesn't have the ability to talk. She further thinks that the girl was like a small child. She’s human, she understands what people are telling her and can give simple responses but couldn't do anything more than that. On the other hand children are also usually loud and this girl was disturbingly very quiet except for when she sneezes.

Yves calls the girl again by gesturing for her to get in the tub once it was filled with foams and smelled of strawberries. 

She turns around so the girl can take off her clothes and she hears the light thump of fabrics falling on the ground. Once she heard disturbance in the water and was sure that the girl was covered in bubbles, she turned back around to face her and the girl was already smiling up at her, clearly enjoying the bath. 

Yves extracts a wash cloth from her rack beside the tub and starts rubbing the girl's skin. She was removing days worth of dirt from roaming outside on the streets which surprisingly wasn’t a lot and when she reached her arms, turning them around to reveal her forearms. Yves winces at what she sees. 

There were a lot of cuts on both of her arms, almost the entirety of her forearms are covered with them. Layer upon layer of clean and shaky lines are visible, there are some that you can see are fading but most look like they were freshly opened, proving Yves’ earlier thought that the girl has only been a stray for a very short while. 

She looks up at the girl with sadness and sees that she was also looking at her own forearms in confusion. She still doesn’t speak a word and it was probably the first time that she was seeing them too after she got her memories removed. That thought alone broke Yves’ heart. She wonders what the other people who did the procedure felt when they saw what their old self did to their bodies.

Strays were after all predominantly people who were suicidal and the institute was made with them in mind. A lot of these people decide to take their own memories away or have other people decide for them for their own sake because of whatever scarring experiences they had in their life. Strays weren't just people who lost who they were, they were people who thought that losing themselves may help them find who they really are in a brighter perspective only to be lost again and with no one beside them at that.

“Ah-Choo!” The girl suddenly sneezed again, interrupting her thoughts.

Yves rushes cleaning her arms and tries her best not to hurt the girl’s open wounds.

"You sneeze a lot, do you know that. Do I smell bad to you or something, is that why you keep sneezing?" She chuckles and the girl laughs along with her heartily though Yves wasn’t sure if she actually understood what she just said.

"I've never named a stray before, you know. I used to think that it’s mainly because people say that it's almost impossible especially if I’m not related to them so I don’t do it and to be honest I've never actually met anyone who has done it either so I had my doubts. 

But now that I think about it, I think that I just haven’t found the stray that I wanted to name so if it’s okay, I want to try it with you. I want to try naming _you_.” She stands up from her kneeling position beside the tub and the girl follows her with her eyes, looking up at Yves. 

"Because you were sneezing so much since earlier, it helped me think of this name during our whole bus ride" Yves laughs to herself with the name in mind "it sounds stupid to be honest but I think that it will really suit you" she looks at the girl in the tub nervously.

"What do you think about the name Chuu? You know, like Ah-Choo!?" She tries to imitate her and the girl laughs, sneezing for real.

"Chuu? Ah-Choo!" She beams at her and Yves nods her head yes proudly until she realizes something 

"Did you just say Chuu? Like before actually sneezing?" She asks startled

"Chuu?" The girl repeats and Yves couldn't believe what she was hearing. This wasn't a mere sound that you make when you sneeze, the girl was actually repeating what she's saying. She looks at her excitedly.

"So... do you like it? Do you want me to start calling you Chuu?" She asks experimentally but to her disappointment, the girl only nods her head yes like earlier.

"Hmm" she tried to think "How about this, You understand what YES and NO mean, right?" Yves looks at the girl expectantly and she nods her head yes in excitement, her smile keeps widening and eyes sparkling.

"So when I ask you if you like your name can you say either of the words YES and No?" The girl in the tub nods her head yes again and Yves takes a deep breath. Here goes nothing. 

"Hey Chuu, do you like your name Chuu?" She waits for her answer nervously and Chuu smiles at her 

"Yes!" She beams and Yves got startled by how clear her voice was. 

She doesn't know if this is what naming should be like since she has never done it before but there is only one way to find out for sure if it actually worked. She frantically walks behind Chuu and lifts her soaked hair up.

Yves gasps all of a sudden and lets her red hair fall back down. The blank spot on Chuu’s nape that she looked at earlier when they were in front of the store now has something written on it in white ink. 

There was a tattoo on the back of the girl's neck and it says _'Chuu'_

**_“I will receive it until I die,_ **

**_your stifling stare_ **

**_I still orbit you, and nothing’s changed, but_ **

**_if there’s no name to love,_ **

**_everything has changed”_ **

Her roommate came back to the apartment sometime during early morning. Yves quietly walked out of her room and to the kitchen, grabbing two bowls from the cupboard. She looks around nervously, making sure that her roommate was still asleep and pours their shared cereal into both of the bowls. She also gets some milk and pours it in as well before heading back to her room, carrying their food.

Chuu was still fast asleep on her bed and she carefully placed the bowls on the floor next to the mattress. She goes back outside and retrieves two more glasses filled with iced tea and brings it back to her room. Yves puts it beside the two bowls and taps the girl on her bed lightly to wake her up.

"Chuu?" She whispers, afraid of scaring her and the girl whimpers before opening her eyes. She immediately smiles when she sees Yves and says her name as a response "Chuu!" She gets up excitedly and sees the two bowls on the floor. 

She looks at Yves and the bowls alternatingly as if asking for permission. Yves laughs at Chuu's cute gesture and nods her head, telling her that it’s fine. 

The girl wasted no time and pulled one of the bowls towards her, indulging every spoonful of the cereal and even leaving some crumbs on her bed but Yves didn’t seem to mind. She enjoyed watching Chuu eat so happily.

"Hey, the food's not going anywhere and I can always get you some more if you want. Just relax, I don’t want you choking" She plays with Chuu's hair and notices how it was very long and soft. It was the perfect hair to groom and an idea forms in her mind.

"Hey, Chuu" She hesitantly said and the other girl looked at her with her mouth full of cereal. Yves chuckles. 

"Do you remember how we took a bath earlier? Answer yes or no" She adds the last part hastily and Chuu Swallows her food right away.

"Yes" She nods her head and Yves pulls her hand back from her hair.

"Well, after you finish eating your cereal, I need you to take a bath again just like earlier and while you do that I'll try to find something for you to wear. 

Do you understand everything that I’ve just said?" She was afraid that she was speaking too much for the other girl to actually comprehend, but Chuu seems to understand her just fine and replies with a smile.

"Yes! Chuu bath!" She says with whatever words she can best come up with and Yves instantly laughed 

"Chuu will take a bath indeed" She tells her and she picks up her own bowl, nearly forgetting she also got herself one.

"Chuu bath!" She repeats and Yves pats her head 

"That's good enough" She gives her a proud smile before getting up to prepare clothes for Chuu to wear.

**_“The past days where even the so-called lingering feeling wasn’t there_ **

**_Now I don’t even remember your aroma_ **

**_But, wait, this is a perfume that I had smelled somewhere”_ **

Chuu finishes taking a bath and to Yves’ relief, she gets out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her body. She forgot to teach her earlier so she panicked for a while but now that she sees Chuu capable of doing more things without guidance, Yves guesses that maybe her old procedural memories are helping her but she wasn’t sure if that was good or bad considering that just hours ago she couldn’t even utter a single word.

Yves hands her the clothes that she picked out. It was a simple ensemble since she doesn’t really have any fancy pieces, she found a white skirt that she hasn't worn in years and a red shirt that has a sparkly cherry on its front. 

She heads for the bathroom after handing her the items and before she closes the door, she sees Chuu grinning excitedly at the clothes given to her, smelling them and looking at them intently like they’re the most interesting things in the world. Yves silently wishes that when she comes out of the bathroom, Chuu would have put her clothes on.

Chuu turned out to also know how to wear the clothes that she gave her properly and Yves volunteers to braid her long hair. 

"Braid Chuu hair?" She asks and although the way she talks together with her face creates a cute and soft image, she actually has a deeper register than what her visuals might tell you.

"Yes, I will braid Chuu's hair" Yves laughs and starts parting her hair to prepare creating two french braids. 

"To be honest, I’m actually a single child but I could've sworn that I used to braid someone else's hair like this too,

It’s weird because I didn’t really have any friends that was a girl growing up and even until now. It has always just been me and my parents from the beginning and I’m sure that I didn’t braid my mom’s hair'' She laughs and moves her hands in instinct, allowing her to finish the girl’s braids fast as if she has been doing it for every single day of her life. She finds a cute pink clip with a cherry on it sitting on top of her desk drawer and finds it suiting to put on Chuu’s newly groomed hair since she’s also wearing a shirt with a cherry on it.

"All done" She announces and Chuu checks herself through the small mirror on her wall. 

"I Like braid" The girl hugs her out of nowhere and Yves almost falls down as she is caught off guard. She freezes for a moment, supporting the smaller girl’s weight before returning the hug and she smiles when she gets a whiff of Chuu's scent.

She was expecting to smell the familiar strawberry bath wash that she most likely used taking in consideration that it was the only option in her bathroom, but instead Chuu smelled of strawberries and another scent that she couldn't put her finger on. It was a nice fragrance and she feels like she has smelt it somewhere before, Yves starts getting frustrated because she couldn't figure out where or when she did.

**_“Would it be really that you’ve found Eris_ **

**_Tell me, how am I, in any way, worse than that moon_ **

**_us is just a plural form of u_ **

**_Perhaps I wasn’t there at all from the beginning”_ **

Slowly as the day progresses Yves Starts to take notice of how Chuu’s starting to seem more like a normal person by the way she acts and responds to her actions. If you didn't know that she was a nameless stray just yesterday then you would have thought that she was only a shy girl who refuses to talk in complete sentences.

"Yves will start work?" Chuu asks and she looks at her in surprise. That was almost a perfect sentence and she pats her head in appreciation. The girl scrunches her nose at the gesture and smiles at Yves. 

Chuu seemed like the type of person to always cheer you up when you're having a bad day and Yves starts to wonder if the person who owned this body prior to Chuu getting her memories removed was the same. Did they always smile like the Chuu she knows or were they always just crying like what her scars represent?

"No, I'm not going to work today. We're just gonna get something to drink and we’ll get going" Yves pushes the door of the store open and her boss greets her cheerfully before recognizing who it was.

"Good morning!- ah, Yves it’s just you” He dropped the fake enthusiasm in a snap and she smiled at the old man in contrast.

“Good morning to you too Mr. Kim” She heads to the fridge right away for the nth time, a habit that she has manifested after working there for months. She takes a single strawberry milk bottle but remembers about the girl beside her who’s looking expectantly. 

Yves takes another bottle before closing the fridge and pulls the girl to the cashier where the old man eyes Chuu suspiciously 

“Aren’t you the stray from earlier this morning?” He raises his brow at the girl and Yves gets startled, completely forgetting for a second that Chuu wasn’t actually Chuu just a few hours ago. “Eh but that seems impossible, you look like you actually took a bath just now and you’re wearing different clothes. If you’re a stray then you obviously won’t be able to do that” Mr. Kim laughs at himself, shrugging it off and looks back at Yves who breathes a sigh of relief.

“And you, What are you doing here? You usually just take whatever you want and leave after telling me to take it off your payroll” The girl feels embarrassed being confronted like this and she quickly hands the old man something from her bag. It’s wrapped in a small paper bag and Mr. Kim opens it slowly, retrieving a few bottles of vapor rub inside. 

“You’re aware that I own a convenience store and that I can actually afford this, right?” He looks at her incredulously.

“Yes of course, you always make sure that I remember that” Yves produces a small laugh.

“But you never actually buy them for yourself and I always see you holding your back in pain, so I thought that maybe I should just bring you some since I have a lot of them at home anyways” She says and the old man just nods although deep inside he was touched by her concern. He hides his joy by putting on his grumpy mask and looks at Chuu once again.

The girl was busy staring at the cute packaging of the candies in front of the cashier and Yves immediately grabs her hand, preparing herself to run away with her if needed. 

Taking in strays isn't a bad thing nor was it against the law. The government actually encourages the citizens to do it but people can still be judgemental at times. A lot of people in the past have lost their jobs for simply adopting a stray because they are considered to be society’s defects and by associating yourself with them it makes you somehow one too. Yves isn’t embarrassed by what she did by taking in Chuu but she can’t possibly lose her only job that barely helps buy her necessities. 

Especially because Mr. Kim is an old conservative man who still believes that the practices from before are better. So although more people nowadays are having the courage to take in strays like she did. Yves just couldn’t risk anything mainly because she has two mouths to feed now.

“You look really familiar to me, I wonder where I’ve seen that cute face of yours before. 

Are you sure that this isn’t the stray from yesterday?” Her boss asks again and Yves’ heart was so beating fast, it was threatening to escape her chest at a dangerous speed. She feels her sweat starting to build up on her forehead before she answers.

“No-”

“No, I’m not a stray” She was cut off by Chuu saying a straight sentence without stuttering, she looked at the girl beside her in shock and she was smiling wide at her boss before looking back at Yves. Her eyes once again sparkling by the amount of happiness her smile contained and left the other girl at a loss for words.

The old man sighs in relief for some reason and Yves looks at him with daggers that he thankfully doesn’t notice. “Well that’s good to hear. Your voice is really nice young girl, you should use it more often so that people won’t mistake you for a stray” He smiles and hands her the pink candy that she has been ogling at.

Chuu’s eyes widen as she accepts the gift and she winks at the old man, giggling at the food in her hand. Mr. Kim laughs at the girl.

“You’re a silly young woman” He laughs that deep hearted laugh like a grandpa watching his grandchildren open the gifts that he got for them during christmas. Yves then tugs Chuu’s hand, gesturing for them to leave, deciding that she has seen enough.

“Bye Mr. Kim, I’ll see you later for my shift” Yves started walking away but the other girl pulled her back to the counter one more time, looking up at the old man.

“Bye bye!” Chuu waves goodbye to him, the candy securely in her hand as she does this and he bids them goodbye happily.

“Good bye! I hope you both have a fun and memorable day!”

**_“Some day, you’ll also understand my words_ **

**_My seasons were always you_ **

**_My cold heart is at -248 degrees_ **

**_it stopped on the day you erased me”_ **

Chuu finishes the candy that she was eating and punctures the strawberry milk that Yves got for her with a straw. 

They decided to stay for a while in an abandoned soccer field near the store and the institute. If you try to focus just enough, you will see the tall building where people get their memories removed just a short distance away from the bench where they're seating behind the large trees that grew on the old field. 

Soccer fields were a huge deal hundreds of years ago but as the country progressed and preferred everything to be digital. Outdoor sports were also scratched in the process. There were already online soccer games even before they decided to completely abandon the outdoors and instead of going full digital, game producers decided that athletes are too important and should be preserved hence they created studios where they would play as an alternative for a field that requires too much maintenance and puts people more in danger.

The past few hours since meeting the stray- no Chuu has been really weird so far but in a good way. Yves named her first stray and she turned out to be more responsive and functional than most that she has ever encountered in her 20 years of existence. She feels like she has finally done something really good and worthwhile in her life that started planning out the next days with Chuu in her head.

Realistically, she couldn’t stay at the apartment that she’s currently residing at any longer if plans on keeping Chuu so she pulls out her phone to look up houses or rooms for rent on the internet. 

She doesn’t have a huge amount of money saved and a lot of the housing in Seoul is actually very expensive but there are a few that come at a much cheaper price for people like her. They’re mostly old models of houses from around 2020 and have more of the traditional look and appliances like the old school TVs and gas stoves for cooking.

Not a lot has changed since those times but in the span of 300 hundred years, you would naturally assume that people would have managed to make a lot of things a lot easier for them and they have. A great example of this would be how cooking takes a minute or five at most nowadays using the latest _stove 360,_ where you just put all the ingredients of the meal that you want in the machine and it would do all the work for you in a very short amount of time. 

But despite all these technological advancements in today’s world, the traditional way of doing things like cooking using fire or electricity and washing clothes by hands aren’t exactly phased out. Mainly because there are people like Yves who couldn’t afford these things, what was a necessity to most is a luxury to people like her.

Yves currently lives in an apartment that is a fusion of the two. Meaning that it is old school at first look but if you go in, you would see a few modern appliances that are provided by their landlord. The old houses were too difficult to remodel when changes in domestic architecture suddenly made a shift around fifty years ago and as a result homeowners from that time either demolished their houses to build new models or moved to a new location, leaving their old houses as is to be rented by people like Yves who can’t afford their own homes.

She would’ve stayed at her parents’ house if only they were rich but even her parents aren’t making that much money, making it extremely difficult for all three of them to live under the same roof. 

More people inside a house means higher taxes and living in rented homes didn’t require such burden because you are considered part of the unprivileged population which exempts you from a lot of mandatory payment, but of course there was down side to this and that is that she can’t marry unless she decides to get a house of her own or her spouse has one and she’ll move in with them.

You would’ve thought that after hundreds of years, the government would have changed for the better for the sake of all its citizens but that is a joke that was told over 300 hundred years ago. People in power will never treat their subjects fairly or they would lose their high ground. It’s all just propaganda at the end of the day.

She starts scrolling through online markets to look for a place when Chuu suddenly taps her shoulder. She looked up at the other girl and saw that she was pointing at her empty strawberry milk bottle.

“Do you want more?” Yves asks and she shakes her head no.

“Not really but do you know that I used to like this drink when I was younger too?” She asks her innocently and though Chuu has spoken a full sentence earlier too, it still surprised Yves how fast her “recovery” to the normal state is after getting a name. She totally sounds like a regular person now and It looked like there was no stopping her improvement any time soon. 

“How would you possibly know that silly” She plays with her braids and the girl looks down on the empty bottle in her hands, pouting. 

“I don’t know either, I just suddenly see things although they’re not there. Like I see myself playing in this field although I know that I haven't been here before” She talks more and Yves worries that there was something going wrong just when she thought that everything was turning out well.

It seemed like the girl was on her way to developing her new individual as Chuu but this person in front of her looks sad and full of worry. This is the exact opposite reaction that one should get after receiving a new name and Chuu wasn’t like this just a few moments ago. It was as if the girl was reminiscing her old life and that’s making Yves panic

She quickly looks up something on her phone and reads the article quickly. Her eyes move from left to right faster than she has ever read in her entire life, even faster than when they are required to read a book in under an hour at school.

She looked up cases of strays being named by strangers on the streets and most of the articles that popped up were from that year that the government experimented with “Namers”, the workers who were hired to name strays. They all said the same thing, Strays cannot possibly be named by people who aren’t related to them in anyway. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a blood related relationship, It just has to be someone who had a strong connection to them emotionally or to the extreme experience that led them to their removal of memories.

She closes all the articles, finding them all to be useless until she comes across a few blogs. Three forums to be exact and they all talk about people’s experiences with naming a random stray. People shouldn’t believe things that others post on the internet so quickly and naively especially if they’re not verified. Yves is fully aware of that but Chuu’s case was already strange enough to her that she’s willing to open her mind to the possibilities of these stories being true.

She finishes reading all three of them at the speed of light and one of the accounts turn out to be proven false, the original poster created a fake story just for the sake of internet clout. The remaining two on the other hand remain unproven but both of their stories concluded the same way.

They both turned out to be related to the strays that they took in and the reason why they accidentally named them their first names was because their memories of them were removed along with theirs since they had that bond that the “Namers” has stated in their articles. It was only until it was too late that they realized what they’ve done and their strays has started to remember the real reasons why their memories was taken away from them causing both cases to loose their strays to the thing that they were avoiding in the first place, suicide.

Yves suddenly feels her chest tighten and she chokes out a breath that she didn’t even know she was holding in. She looked at the girl beside her and stubborn tears had already escaped her eyes without warning. Chuu looks at her sadly and wipes them off her cheeks using her hands.

“Why are you crying?” The smaller girl pouts at her and Yves suddenly sees another girl in her place but it wasn’t really another person. It was still Chuu but with much more expensive clothes and a richer looking aura. She was wearing a purple dress that stops just right above her knees and she has a white trench coat topping it so elegantly. Instead of her hair done in braids using cheap elastics like earlier, she now has wavy long hair that sits softly on her back, ultimately making her look like someone who was loved and cared for. 

Chuu’s eyes also looked different. They had bright makeup surrounding them but they didn’t look anywhere near as when they were talking earlier, the sparkle just wasn’t there and instead they look like they’ve seen things that no person deserved to witness. They were full of pain and sorrow that were trying so hard to hide behind the bright colors that she was wearing but that didn’t fool Yves one bit. She can see right through her, she can see right through the real Chuu.

And for the first time since she can remember, she sees a scene from just a week ago flash before her eyes. She couldn’t stop herself anymore and fully bursted out crying. Chuu was startled at Yves’ sudden outburst and didn’t know what to do except hug her and rub her back, hoping that it gave her comfort somehow.

“Hey, is something wrong, Yves?” She asks and the girl that she's holding continues to sob on her until her red shirt is wet with her tears.

All the memories from a week ago and even from much farther back then came to Yves like a whiplash, carrying along with them all the pain that she received from these experiences. 

**_“I’m just orbiting you_ **

**_I missed you, I lost you_ **

**_I’m just circling without traction_ **

**_You erased me, you forgot me”_ **

_“She’s acting very recklessly! Partying every night and buying all those expensive clothes from whatever fashion week she has been going to and that’s another thing, she keeps on going out of the country to attend these silly shows! She’s lavishly spending all this money on useless things when she could've been sitting down in her office and running the company like she’s supposed to!. She’s hurting our image and she doesn’t even seem to care! We have to do something!” The man in a well fitted suit half screams at Yves frustratingly and she stares at him with a straight face from across his desk._

_His suit probably costs more than her whole yearly tuition fee combined and that made her sick to her stomach but she made sure not to show her disgust._

_They’re inside the office of the vice president of Chuu’s family’s corporation. It is the largest food manufacturing business in the country and is among one of the richest in all of Asia. Yves stares at him angrily, her hands forming fists around her white skirt but still, she won’t give him the satisfaction by caving into his absurd idea._

_“How can we let such a careless spoiled brat be a president of one of the largest companies in the country?! You have to think of this in a reasonable perspective Yves. Thousands of people’s lives depend on her and how she’ll take care of this company!” The girl stares at him in disbelief and laughs a bitter one. The old man suddenly looks at her, raising his brow._

_The audacity of this hypocrite, she thought._

_“Why are you laughing? This is no laughing matter, young girl!” He was fusing and Yves glared at him the best way that she could._

_“She’s a 20 year old girl who just lost her parents a few weeks ago. The best that YOU can do is at least pretend that you care about her or her parents that just passed away. They were your bosses who you were loyal to after all, am i right?” Yves smirks and crosses her arms. The Vice president looks at her in disbelief and she smiles knowing that she hit a nerve._

_This man has done nothing for the past few weeks except answer interviews that are meant for Chuu on national TV and pretend to sob for the loss of his former bosses, trying to gain sympathy. A performative dick, Yves thinks and she wonders how long he has been waiting for this._

_“I know that and the whole country is grieving with her including me, I even organized the whole funeral because she couldn’t get herself together!” She decides that she has heard enough of the bullshit coming out from this man’s mouth and abruptly stands up, startling him in the process._

_“You don’t get to decide how she’s going to grieve her own parents’ sudden death and that whole thing with the funeral is YOUR duty as vice president and the only person who has access to their funds besides Chuu,_

_It is also YOUR duty to take over for her until she gets better and decide that she can start working unless you’re that impatient and greedy to start your plan to fool her into giving you the company. I don’t think that you have any right deciding on what will happen to Chuu’s life right now” She started walking towards the door but before she could leave, the man sighs in surrender, he speaks with his voice loud and clear._

_“I’m just worried about her. She's like a daughter that I never had and you have to really consider what I just offered. She’s already had multiple suicide attempts in less than three weeks both inside and outside of the country. I know that you’re smart enough to realize that one of these days she’s going to try again and we might not be as lucky as before. One of these days, we might have our hands tied and she’ll just be gone before our eyes” Yves turns back around to look at the man, her face still wearing that brave mask but a lot calmer now._

_“She’s going to get well. I know she will” and she leaves the office, hoping that that it would be the last time that she has to see his stupid face and hear his stupid suggestions._

_Chuu will get better._

**_“Once belonged to the system of the sun,_ **

**_The song paused, the song stopped_ **

**_the star’s heart is just filled with smoky layers of mist_ **

**_You erased me, you forgot me”_ **

_Yves rides a cab to her girlfriend’s mansion in a familiar exclusive village. This has become a routine for her for the past three weeks since Chuu’s parents died, normally they would meet somewhere else besides her house because she wasn’t out to her parents just yet. The only thing that Chuu’s family knows about Yves is that she is the daughter of their old business friends before they went bankrupt and was completely erased off of the business scene of South Korea._

_The guard immediately recognized her from the cab and let the vehicle into the residential. It must be weird for the people living there to see a taxi go in and out of the supposed private place but they were used to it by now since Yves used to live there with her family anyways. Back when they could afford being called one of the richest people in Seoul._

_The cab reaches its destination in front of the large black gates of the mansion and Yves takes a deep breath before going down._

_Please let her be playing a game or an instrument. Please let her be eating something or simply sitting in their beautiful garden. Please just let her be lying down comfortably in her bed and healthy crying her emotions out while she waits for her. Please let her be doing anything other than what Yves wishes so hard that she won’t have to witness again. She says all of these in her head like a silent prayer before proceeding to the property._

_The guard lets her in upon seeing her and nods in her direction. Yves navigates the place easily like she actually lives there and walks in a hurry towards Chuu’s bedroom._

_The maids are not allowed inside because Chuu doesn’t let them and only Yves is allowed entry. She pushes the door slowly, her heart nervously beating fast and she was hoping for the best when it suddenly gets caught up in her throat upon her eyes landing on the scene inside the bedroom._

_She rushed towards the body lying on the floor, blood spilling from the girl’s arms from all the cuts that she made and it looked like this time she wanted to be sure that her plan would succeed because near the bloody puddle was a bottle of pills that appeared to be empty. Yves looks at her face and there it was, the bubbles forming in her mouth as she overdoses from whatever medication she took._

_Yves screams with all her might, holding Chuu’s unconscious body on her lap before the maids come running into the bedroom. Shock envelopes the room and Yves shouts at them angrily for not moving and calling an ambulance. They all scramble around the two of them as she cries heavy and hot tears. One of them got to calling the hospital and another intercommed the guard to help them carry Chuu once the ambulance arrived._

_Yves continues to sob as they wait for a response. This wasn’t Chuu’s first attempt but she’s been hoping that she would stop after the first tries didn’t succeed. Every single time she does this to herself, it is always Yves who finds her sitting or lying down in her own blood bath, even overseas when they would go to watch her fashion shows. Yves would always assume that Chuu was happy and recovering after the event but just a few moments afterward when she leaves her alone even for the shortest while. There she will be, unconscious on the floor of their hotel’s bathroom._

_She screams at no one in particular as painfully hot tears carry on, falling on her cheeks while she holds the love of her life in her arms. Unsure of whetherChuu was still there._

**_“It’s not much different from yesterday_ **

**_In the same daily life, only you’re missing_ **

**_We were certainly together until yesterday”_ **

_They put her in the mental ward once again and Yves stays outside of her room, sitting on the benches in the hallway while she tries to make sense of what is happening. Her hands still had Chuu’s dry blood on them and her clothes were soaked red turning brown. A nurse approaches her with pity and offers Yves an extra scrub suit to change into._

_“Thank you” She says in a small voice as tears were still silently threatening to escape her tired eyes._

_She was about to stand up and head to the bathroom when she hears the clanking of heels echoing in the empty hallway, the sound approaching her. Yves looks up to the person who owns them and wasn’t surprised to see the same man that she wished she wouldn’t have to see again just an hour ago._

_She didn’t feel anger towards him when he sat down next to her but instead she felt angry at herself. She felt mad that she couldn't do anything to stop this from happening again and she was also mad that there is still this lingering possibility that another attempt might occur after this one, scaring her into thinking that maybe he was right after all. What if Chuu does it again and Yves won’t be there to save her?_

_“I don’t want to-”_

_“I know” She cuts him off before looking up at the man who looked at her in confusion “I know what we should do” Yves chokes and the tears that she was trying so hard to hold back stubbornly came out._

_The man suddenly hugs her but she doesn't have the energy to push him away. And if she’s being honest with herself, she also needed this, she also needed someone to be there for her because she doesn’t know how else to cope anymore after seeing Chuu try to end her life over and over again._

_“Why is this so hard?” She asks no one in particular as she balls her fists on the man’s expensive suit. Yves lets herself go weak on the old man and she starts depending on him to support her._

_“Why can’t she just cry like a normal person and rely on me to help her be happy again, why does she… why does she need to do THAT” Her sobs were so loud across the entire hallway that all the nurses in the station near them were looking towards their direction with worry. “I just need her to stop killing herself for one second and let me help her” She was almost whining now and the man rubs circles on her back like a father comforting his daughter._

_“I’m sorry, I don’t know what else to do either” He tells her and she continues to cry on the old man, his suit now soaked with her tears._

_She knows that he can’t do anything just like she hasn’t been able to do anything to avoid all of these events from happening. There was nothing that anyone could do to help her if she didn't want to accept their help. The only option left is that one thing and though it is very hard for her to admit, Yves knows that it’s the only choice left if she truly wants to save Chuu from herself._

_“Is it painful?” She manages to look up at the old man, sniffling._

_“What is?” He asks although he knew exactly what she was talking about_

_“The procedure. The memory removal procedure, do you think that it will hurt her?” Her tears seemed to never stop coming but she knows that she has to be strong enough to hear this. She has to be strong enough to make this decision for her because no one else will, not even this man in front of her._

_“No, It won’t hurt her. They say that it’s just like sleeping” She pulls away from the man, seemingly content with what she hears and wipes her tears. She takes a deep breath and looks at the clothes on her lap._

_“Okay then” She finally decides and looks at the vice president directly in the eyes. “As long as it doesn't hurt her then I think that it’s better than… whatever this is” She laughs bitterly and wipes off the stubborn tears that have managed to escape her eyes again._

_“Are you sure?” He asks her again and she doesn’t really know if she is either._

_Was she really deciding this for Chuu? Is this the right decision for her? What if she’s making the wrong decision and this will only ruin her life?_

_“I still don’t trust you, you know” Yves musters up her courage before she could even change her mind_

_“But I’m trusting you on this, I need you to assure me that once she’s out of that facility, you will personally pick her up and give her a new name and you will help her run this company that her parents built with their blood, tears and sweat. Because as much as I wish I can do that for her instead. We both know that I’ll also lose my memory of her after everything that we went through, that’s just how it is” She became braver now after saying those words and the vice president nodded at her. Pity was evident in his eyes and she feels disgusted by agreeing to this._

_She’s scared but she can’t think of anything else. This has to happen._

_“I promise to give her a name and help her be the best president that the company has ever seen, I promise you that” He holds her hand, squeezing it lightly and Yves winces not because of physical pain but because of the pain that came with her decision. That light squeeze of her hand was what sealed the deal and she knows that she can’t back down now._

_“I trust you” She says for the last time_

_Yves gets up from her seat to clean herself and change into fresh clothes before entering her girlfriend’s hospital room. Chuu was asleep on the bed, her heart monitor and her shallow breathing were the only sounds that you can hear._

_Her arms were tied to the railings and it pains her, it pains Yves a lot to see her like this but then she sees her face. Her face looks so delicate and relaxed while she sleeps sedated and Yves wonders if Chuu would feel the same ease when she gets her memories removed._

_She takes Chuu’s hand in hers and leans onto her bed to kiss her forehead. A tear escaped her eye, falling on Chuu and she wiped it off gently using her thumb. She places her lips next to her ear while she sleeps in hope that maybe, somewhere, wherever she might be right at that moment. She was listening to Yves’ heart beating just for her._

_“I love you so much” She bites her lips to stop herself as she feels like crying again “I am so sorry, I’m really sorry Chuu. I love you more than anything in the world and I just want you to be happy. I want you to live on even if I Won't be a part of your new life anymore” She feels her body weaken and she falls on her knees beside her bed. Yves sobbed until morning, crying her feelings away until she forgets who they were for._

**_“In contrast to my heart that feels like it’s about to explode,_ **

**_at this moment, the temperature is -248 degrees,”_ **

_The vice president scheduled the memory removal right away and by morning after they arrived at the hospital, people from the facility were already entering Chuu’s room to take her to the institute. She kicks and screams in protest, her earlier restraints were now gone but they were too strong for her weak and feeble body that she still doesn’t manage to sit up. She spotted her girlfriend in the room and looked at her, begging for help._

_“Yves! Who are these people?! Why are they taking me?!” Chuu continues to be noncompliant, fighting against the nurses who were holding her down while Yves stands in the corner of the room. She watches them try to constrain her as her eyes look back at her, Chuu’s eyes are full of shock and betrayal making Yves feel guilty and she looks away._

_She wanted to approach her and tell her that everything will be better soon but she can’t._

_“Yves I did not agree to this! Yves baby I’m gonna do better! I promise that I won’t do it again, please baby tell these people that I’m not coming with them!” The four staff holding her down managed to secure the belt around her waist and Chuu’s hands were tied again along with her legs so she couldn’t move._

_“Yves I’m sorry please, I’ll be better” She begs her from across the room, her voice started to break and tears rushed violently on her cheeks._

_She hated seeing Chuu like this but she knows what she has to do. This has already been decided and this is what’s best for her, this is what will help the person that she loves with all her being. Yves turns her back at them as the people from the institute start to roll her bed away, proceeding outside of the room and to the ambulance waiting for her at the entrance of the hospital._

_“Are these all of her medical records including her diagnosis for depression and multiple attempted suicides?” Someone from the group of people who took Chuu stayed and approached Yves at the corner of the room. The young man looks at her with sympathy “You are fully aware that it’s against the law to withhold any document regarding her health no matter how acute they might be, is that correct?” He asks her again and she nods her head without looking at him._

_She felt like her soul was taken along with Chuu as she was being wheeled outside of the room. Yves wanted to run after them and tell the nurses that it was a mistake and she didn't actually consent to this being done to her girlfriend, but it was too late. She was already signing the forms while she let her tears stream down her face, ignoring the young man in front of her._

_“I’m really sorry for having to do this. It’s just institute protocols” He tells her and she looks at him, forcing a small smile._

_“It’s okay. You’re just doing your job and I’m just doing what I think is best for the person that I love” She chokes at the last few words and the man sighs_

_"I’m not really a fan of this whole system of memory erasing either but it always just comes down to two questions : would you rather they kill themselves when you could’ve done something or erase their memories which would practically kill them too because they won't be the same person that they were before the procedure anymore._

_I like to think of this as them being reborn but as fully grown human beings and It’s a sad process indeed, but it gives them a chance at a new beginning. Besides… this is our reality now so I just hope that you made the right decision” He taps her shoulder sympathetically before walking away and joining his co-workers._

_"I would always choose for her to live even if we don't know each other rather than let her die on me when I know that I could've done something" She says to herself amidst the empty room that used to contain Chuu and her sufferings._

_“Goodbye, Chuu” She closed her eyes and told herself that this would be the last time that she’ll be crying like this because once she wakes up. Chuu won’t be Chuu anymore and Yves won’t have a clue of who that person was even if she ever sees her again._

**_“When my memory is about to vaguely come back_ **

**_as I turn my head towards there,_ **

**_next to you approaching me smiling brightly, there’s…”_ **

Yves sees the building near their location from the side of her eyes and pulled away from Chuu immediately, the girl looked at her in confusion. She manages to get herself together fast and pulls Chuu’s arms, leading her away from the field.

“Do you know who I am?” She asks while they walk and the girls smiles at her

“Of Course! You’re Yves, the one who gave me my name!” She beams and Yves looks at her in worry.

“Seriously, don’t you still know who I am?” She prompts again and Chuu starts pouting at her.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to say. All I know is that you’re Yves. Aren’t you Yves?” She tries to reach for her cheeks but the other girl pushes her hand away, startling Chuu. 

Yves closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

“Okay, good. Your memories are still not fully back” She observes the younger girl before pulling her arm more forcefully and they walk faster. Her tears were threatening to escape but she held it in. She has to do what’s right again.

“Yves?” Chuu asks her as she’s being pulled to the taxi bay “Yves, where are we going?” She looked scared as they climbed in the vehicle and Yves told the driver their designation.

“The memory institute please” The driver looked startled to hear the address and looked at them through his rear view mirror but Yves wasn’t paying attention. She was nervously shaking her legs and Chuu held them down. She looked at the other girl and started to feel her heart sink.

“Don’t be scared. I’m here” She offers her a wide grin and a single tear escapes from the side of her eye. Chuu wipes it off and this time she didn’t protest at her touch.

“I’m not scared” Her voice breaks and she smiles back at Chuu, at the person she loved the most in the entire world.

**_“I watch you over the mist, who’s still smiling_ **

**_The reality of my irregular orbit without any meaning, you, and everything_ **

**_I’m just circling without traction_ **

**_Pluto of a number that’s hard for you to remember and of darkness,_ **

**_but I guess I’ll keep circling around you”_ **

“So what you’re trying to tell me is that, she was a stray just last night but you then decided to take her in and after trying to name her for the first time, you somehow managed to think of her first name purely out of coincidence?” The nurse at the reception raises her brow at Yves and she smiles shyly.

Thankfully there weren't many people in the place and Chuu was busy watching something on the waiting area’s television. She laughed at whatever she thought funny and just looked so innocent sitting down there. Chuu notices her staring and waves at her, Yves feels her heart squeeze but she fakes a smile and waves back at the girl.

“I’m not lying, You can look up her records on your computer if you don’t believe me. Her procedure took place just last week so I’m sure that it’s still there. Her birth name is Kim Jiwoo but she has always been referred to as Chuu hence that’s also the name written on her tattoo” The nurse looks past her and at the girl watching TV suspiciously. She looked back at Yves who was nervously tapping the counter and sighed, it wouldn’t hurt to fact check her story. It was a slow day after all.

“Kim Jiwoo who is also called Chuu, let me see” Her eyes widen when she types in the name and sees that every little detail that Yves just said were exactly what’s in the record “This is impossible, I’ve never seen a case like this before” She shakes her head in disbelief.

“I thought so too but I really do remember everything right now. I even read about cases like this on the internet just earlier and both of their strays just ended up doing what they planned to do before the memory removal. 

Please, she hasn’t gotten her full memory back yet but she’s remembering bits and pieces very fast. Like for example she just told me how she likes strawberry milk ever since she was young and it is true because it was our favorite drink growing up” Yves looks at the lady in desperation and she suddenly feels bad for her.

“Please, I don’t know why her guardian didn’t pick her up and gave her a new name but she needs to have her memories removed again” The nurse sighs and looks at Chuu who smiles at the both of them at the reception.

“Look, I don’t know what your exact story is and this procedure is free so by law anyone can get it done multiple times. And me being a worker here means that I have to do it if someone asks me but as a concerned human being to a fellow human, I want you as her guardian right now to really think about it. What if this time things go okay? Wouldn’t you want her back as the person that she used to?” Yves stares at her at a loss for words. She wasn’t expecting their conversation to take this turn.

Back to the person that she was? Who was that exactly? Back to the Chuu that she fell in love with? Or back to the person who never left her side at school when she was being bullied for her parents’ business’ downfall? Or is it more like back to the person who always had her back until her whole world crumbled and Yves couldn’t do the same for her because she’s weak? 

Back to what kind of person exactly?

Yves swallows her breath before looking back to the nurse.

“There was a reason that I made that decision a week ago and now that I have my memories of her back, despite me missing her so much and just wanting her to be by my side for the rest of my life. I still think and I still know that this is what’s best for her. Even if you try to convince me that there’s even a small possibility that things would get better this time around. I’m not willing to gamble her life. I don’t want to risk her dying on me again when I know that I could’ve stop it so thank you for the concern but because I love her so much, I want her memories along with me to be removed again for her sake, please I am willing to beg you” She could’ve sworn that the nurse also looked like she was on the brim of tears but Yves could only think of one person right at that exact moment.

Chuu

She’s still sitting on the bench, patiently waiting for Yves and she notices how carefree this version of Chuu was. Her old memories coming back now would only mean the end of her being happy and smiling all the time like and Yves couldn’t bear letting that happen. She signs the same forms that she did seven days ago but this time it was for two people.

“Are you sure?” The nurse asks her worriedly and she nods her head yes, smiling although tears are already streaming down her face.

“I hate knowing that she became a stray when I trusted someone to take her and help her get a new life. If there’s anything that I regret about this whole thing, it’s only that I trusted the wrong person to guide her and now I’m going to make that right. I changed her guardians to the people whom I trust more than anyone aside from her. They might not give her the life that she used to have but I’m sure that this time she won’t end up a stray”

The nurse looks at her pitiful before taking the forms back.

She wrote a fake name on the space for her guardians and wrote her parents’ name in Chuu’s . She also asked the nurse if she could write a letter for them and she agreed out of pity.

_Dear Mom and Dad,_

_I’m sorry. Please take care of her. She’s very important to me. Her first name was Chuu if you don’t remember but I hope that you can come up with another name more fitting for this wonderful girl and help her start a new life. I love you all very much and once again, I’m sorry_

_-Yves_

She thanks her before handing the letter and approaches Chuu with the best smile that she could muster.

“Let’s go” She says and the girl follows her, holding her hand tightly as they walk through the endless white hallways.

“Where are we going?” Chuu asks her and they reach their designated room where the nurse whom she was talking to earlier is waiting for them with sympathetic eyes. Yves squeezes her hand lightly before entering the room.

“We’re just going for a sleep, okay?” She tells Chuu. 

There are two beds set up in the room. The memory institute isn’t as scary as regular hospitals. The building was designed to make the people in it feel at peace and the rooms looked like it was of a five star hotel.

Yves lies down on one of the beds and Chuu follows her, wrapping her arms around the girl instantly as she closes her eyes 

“Chuu, you can’t-”

“It’s okay. We’ll make it work” The nurse gives her a small smile and Yves mouths her a thank you while Chuu buries her head deeper in the crook of her shoulder. She has her arms wrapped around the smaller girl securely and she smells the fragrance from earlier once again, now finally recognizing the sweet smell that only Chuu has ever since they were born.

“Now just relax and close your eyes” The lady tells them before placing a lamp like machine over the two girls. Yves expected light to come out of it when she turned it on but it just made both of their senses feel numb, ultimately making them feel dizzy. 

“Goodnight, Yves” Chuu mumbles sluggishly

“Goodnight, Chuu” She whispers to her ear before feeling sleep take over her.

**_“Once belonged to the system of the sun,_ **

**_The song paused, the song stopped_ **

**_the star’s heart is just filled with smoky layers of mist_ **

**_You erased me, you forgot me_ **”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
